The Last Day-Work !

It recalls me of a saying by Anais Nin, "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born". 
The night before I left office for hostel my throat had a gulp of tears and emotions. I had that strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, and even though it was the middle of July, my hands were cold and clammy. As we pulled out of the parking slot in the cab, I watched my office building getting farther and farther away. I gripped my handbag and sobbed all the kilometers to hostel.
A lot of thoughts revolved in my mind like a rollercoaster. Was I insane? Why did I choose to put down my papers? How can I forget to fill  my examination form last year? But I knew this was not the time to reevaluate my decisions. I kept wiping my tears and telling myself it was decision to ËXPAND MY HORIZON" in education.
As I reached, and changed myself in a night suit , went to the bed and forced myself to sleep.

Work life is great. Yes, there are a lot of changes as you enter a world of procrastination, cramming and lack of sleep. There are many things to get used to, like working on a floor with sixty people, grow and become strong with time.

Gladden@22.

        It was my day off from work, I went into the back drawing-room. It was a dark rainy evening and there was no sound in the hostel. Through one of the broken panes I heard the rain impinge upon the earth, the fine incessant needless of water playing in the sodden beds. Some distant lamp or lighted window gleamed below me. I was thankful that I could see so little. All my senses seemed to desire to veil themselves and, feeling that I was about to slip from them, I pressed the palms of my hands together and let the cool breeze to kiss my face. A smile touched my lips(I could not tell why) and at times a tickle of happiness from my heart seemed to pour itself out into the bosom. I thought little of the past and the future. A sense of how satisfied I was with life grew within me as the time passed.
        
          I always wanted myself to be independent and here I was working with a good brand. Wanted to see my parents proud of me and I had achieved that too. A phase in my life has come where I could take my own decisions and say "No" to the thing which is found were incorrect. Maybe that phase is called "ADOLESCENT'S INITIATION INTO ADULTHOOD". I have started figuring out the balance that is required to maintain the work and life. It feels like I have discovered myself and started understanding the lives of the people around me. Real life is not without problems and solutions are not always easy to find, though I have gained the perspective needed to find a positive self-image.

            At eight o'clock I heard my roommate's latchkey in the hall room. I heard her talking to herself, and when she saw me standing near the window, she came over and asked me was I ok. The tone her voice was not encouraging; she seemed to have spoken to me out of a sense of generosity. I looked humbly at the files she was holding in her hand, and murmured: "Yes, I am ok." Then I turned away slowly and walked down todays my room. I heard a voice call from the hall that the light was out because wires had been effected due to the heavy rain, and now it was completely dark. Gazing up into the darkness I saw myself as an imperturbable creature; and my eyes gladdened with happiness.  

                            
          




          

DECISIONS!

Just a week ago i met a friend of mine from my city "Bareilly". We had a lovely time, sitting over a cup of coffee. Complete gossip sessions, realizing and talking of how things have all changed and how we could’ve settle down in that city anymore(for now at least). As the night grew lighter, out popped the question, "Richa, it's been almost four years since you got into a relationship, how did you manage?" I looked at her and didn’t want to deny a word of what she asked me. I didn't want to get into a Love Relationship thing ever, anyways i had to tell my story and how I met him and how ours was not a fairy tale story initially.

I don’t know how much of that she took in but she commented, "everyone back in Bareilly are mostly taking about you guys that you had not been seeing each other and things are quite a rumor ." I was wondering What is there to lie about? Why would one be ashamed to tell people that we knew each other for a long time and now someday want to settle down. And obviously, You cannot see ‘love marriages’ as a taboo anymore.

It is the 21st Century ! Many of my cousins had a love Marriage and they are quite open about it.Why would I feel the need to hide the fact I have been dating a guy for a longer time, and it's not a lie. Why can't i take a decision for my own life? I was always a very independent person. From never liking anyone bringing me a glass of water or serving me dinner. Infact for almost one year that I stayed out, i managed my own things(cooking food and washing clothes), made my own Decisions. I developed majorly with my writing and communicating skills. I grew into becoming a more confident person and most important I am financially independent.

I understand the value of money and slowly and gradually, understanding that a bag with a branded logo is of no value(as of now).

In spite of all this why wouldn't I be capable enough to take those Special Decisions of my life?